The last several weeks I've been doing 'real work', in fact real mans work. Here are several facts I think you pampered, blog-reading, modular-tsubi christmas party going, bang-gang dj befriending, jobless cretins may find useful:
1. If you come across a fork-lift driver known as 'grandad' be warned... Especially if you are 'one of those fucken dumb sluts pickin kids up from school...Fucken bitches can't do a U-turn, can't park, Jesus!'
2. There is this massive industrial hardware place in Bankstown called 'Express'...It's like Bunnings except the staff don't wear tomato-coloured shirts and are far more manly. I have been there numerous times to pick up orders (yeah thats right, orders!) of (sniff) various nuts, bolts and other(sniff) components necessary to (sniff) erect scaffolding... Anyway, I have never been anywhere in my life with a) less women and b) more homosexual innuendo...When I first walked in there I thought it was the set for gay porn. A word of advice... don't bother trying to explain this to co-workers.
3. Attaining a Bachelor of Arts majoring in History and Performance Studies does not qualify you to use an angle grinder, drive a forklift or indeed make you a passable worker.
COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE:
Potential radio names:
'Trousers Naroo'
'Monkey Allan'
'Undies O'Halloran'
'Joost Van-Tastic'
- LISTEN TO JAMES, STEVE AND SOME BAND FROM PERTH FRIDAY 2ND OF DEC, 1-6AM - FBI 94.5FM
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