Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My 2008

As most of you will know, each year, like many other Australians, I send out a Christmas card to family and friends telling them about my year. 'Why don't,' I said. 'I post my card on my blog, so people can read it, regardless of stamps? I haven't posted in ages, and Sophie Braham seems to be hogging the spotlight with her tactless "demonstrative vid/photo blogging."'

Unfortunately I was unable to scan or provide a link to an original copy of my card, so I will have to explain the aesthetic using words: My card was a basic, one-sided piece of white, recycled A4 paper. There was a basic green tinsel border that I found in MS clip-art.
At the top of the page was the following text, aligned to the centre in red Comic Sans 34pt: "2008: A big one for James." On the bottom right hand corner was a scanned, colour photo of myself standing in my parents backyard in 2004. I am wearing a karate uniform, with the brown belt I had attained only that afternoon at Thornleigh 'Brick Pit.' There is a lorikeet on my left shoulder that I was not aware of at the time - adrenaline etc. My face is puce due to The Exertion, but I am beaming from ear to ear in the afterglow. The photo takes up about a sixth of the page.

The rest of the page is taken up by the following text. As with the title, it appeared in red Comic Sans (all caps, which I will spare you in this reproduction), however the body copy was a smaller 13pt:

(You will noticed that I divided the year into quarters.)

What a year it has been, friends. We have all laughed, and some us have cried. Let me give you a rundown.

January-March:
Not much happened during this time. It rained quite alot during February, and there were some birthdays I think?

April-June:
Heath Ledger died now or actually earlier probably. Not many birthdays in this quarter of the year. Two Wednesdays in a row my neighbour kept me up with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It felt like Anthony Kiedis was in my bedroom. I went to a party to celebrate someone becoming a homeowner.

July-September:
Dark Knight came out. I went to a nightclub where you had to wear blue jeans and a white t-shirt maybe two times during this period. Coined the term "Expensive fuckwit disguise" for Digital SLR (I was trying for rhyming slang though, so it's technically a failure.)

October-December: This is still happening, so won't say anything too defining. Trouble in Israel seems imminent. Also went to Bar Reggio twice. Can't remember which horse I bet on Melbourne Cup - it didn't win but.

Your Welcome,
James