Happy new year to most...whatever to others!
The Falls Festival Road Trip Diary:
28th Dec -
Arose around 6:30am tired and a bit sweaty as is characteristic of a Sydney summer. Had to jump straight to action as we were due to leave at 7:30. After 25minute shower (sorry farmers) I got dressed, finished packing and waited for Will to arrive so we could leave.
8:10 - Will arrives pretending he isn't late.
8:25 - Doug has called asking for us to come and pick us up from his parents place, this is impressive as with no landline, mobile or idea of where he was staying the night before - I had my doubts he would materialise let alone call us at such an early hour.
10:00 - Doug is in the car, the borrowed CRV is rocketing towards Melbourne.
10:05 - Will to James: 'Did you bring your tickets?'
10:25 - Back at my house, searching for tickets.
12:00 - Goulbourn Maccas.
12:26 - Goulbourn Subway waiting for Doug to get his vegetarian option...selfish.
14:17 - Three-way sing-along to Alanis Morisette 'Ironic' so loud that we needed to pull over in a landlocked town with a massive submarine as it's chief attraction to remind ourselves what irony really is.
14:20 - Did a poo in the toilets next to the big submarine.
14:58 - Finished an argument on whether or not it would be ironic if it rained on your wedding day if you were marrying Tim Bailey... Agreed that it probably would be but too many variables presented themselves: indoor or outdoor venue, legality of gay marriage, do you really love him or is it just the 'weatherman' you are marrying? etc. etc.
16:47 - Met up with other vehicle in party, they were at the 'Booma Hotel' in Albury and only convinced Brad to stop for a rest because someone had told him that there was a shop that sold pastel sweaters at low low prices... Sam felt bad for deceiving Brad but felt it was necessary as he was 'stinging for a schooner'... Unfortunately for him we were far enough away from Sydney that only pots and pints were on offer, but we were still close enough that the pub bore all the stainless-steel, pokie-lounge, mutton-dressed-as-lamb attributes that plague suburban hotels of Sydney.
16:58 - Me and Brad decided to swap the plugs in his green thongs with those in my pink thongs. After some effort we achieved our goal.
17:14 - Realised that me and Brad could no longer safely walk side by side with our heterosexuality intact... This matter was inflamed when I had to leave the beer garden and walk through the public bar in watermelon thongs and pink shorts, to the sultry stares of clearly impressed local workers who I'm sure wanted to know where they could themselves accquire such manly fashion.
17:30 - Back on the road, charging towards the city of vintage couches and zero no-smoking signs.
17:42 - Having just crossed the border and left the arse-end of Wodonga Will shows a touch of his pre-going-to-uni-in-Canberra conservative cautiousness suggesting that we stop for petrol.
'Nonsense!' James declares loudly, 'the light hasn't even come on yet! We have at least 100kms after that!'
17:43 - The petrol light on the borrowed CRV lights up.
18:51 - (Around 100km later) I am slightly nervous as we were due to run out of petrol near a service-stationless town that declared itself 'The horse-capital of Australia' - not a horse in sight... irony? Maybe it's on Alanis' forthcoming ''b-sides and rarities'. Additionally, about 20 minutes earlier Will had declared that if we were to run out of petrol due to my stupidity , he would be allowed to take advantage of me while he was wearing nothing but black Clark's school shoes and a lime-green industrie polo shirt with the collar up.
19:00 - Found service station in town that declared itself 'The next one down from the horse capital of Australia'. Pumped petrol while still shaking a little bit with relief.
19:11 - Made Will put his school shoes back in his bag.
19:44 - Entering Melbourne finishing an emotional conversation about how much travelling and experiencing different places opens up your mind. Started an emotional conversation about how much we hate people with different cultures and ideas.
21:12 - Finally found our motel 'Best Western - Tullamarine'. Wondering in fact how close it was to the airport (we had to pick up Milo early the next morning), it was quickly noted that we were in fact sleeping within metres of the long-term parking station and were quite possibly in the same street as the Kerrigan family. It wasn't a motel, it was a fucking home.
22:00 - The four of us in the A-party (myself, Will, Doug and Liv) scrubbed up and presented ourselves to the bar/bistro for a somewhat limited choice of dinner: Wedges or fries. I chose wedges.
23:45 - The Ten Networks summer series 'Shopping for Love' was finished and so were we. I fell asleep in my foldout bed dreaming of scoring a dream date at Conrad Jupiters on the Gold Coast with Sharon - the knockout that kept her 'Miss Indy' winners sashes on her bedposts.
- stay tuned for day 2: 'Are youse going to Falls?'
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