Please don't ask me to smile.

I am not normally a person who logs onto blogger, takes a deep breath and then types out my last 24 hours. I am slightly more pretentious than that. I have Opinions about the linear narrative. If I were to send group travel emails they would probably only note my exotic location by the differing standard sizes of coke cans: nb the size of coke cans often differs across continents and regions.

But,
In my most recent, and indeed current, casual job, I am required to work night shifts. These shifts involve punching in (literally, I have a punch card) at 11:30pm and wrapping up (not literally, I have a punch card) at 7:30am. This is understood. I do this two days a week without fuss.

At the moment Bob, the dude who's been living the dream five night shifts a week for 34 years (he started when he was around my age) is on holiday. Bob's one of those guys who make you rethink your own definition of "normal" ambition. He neither loves nor hates his job, he just completes it. It works out pretty well for him money-wise, and after sitting at a desk doing nothing but go bald all night for three decades, what else is he going to do? Join Teenagers In Tokyo?

Anyway, in Bob's absence, I am covering all his shifts plus my regular ones. This equates to myself completing 12 straight night shifts without rest. I am currently on night seven. When I had originally agreed to this job, I was flat broke (still am), and had flicked away the suggestion that "I might get worn out" like pesky lint off fine cashmere (because it was a bad sugggestion). As far as I was concerned this was a gin-in-teacups (good) arrangement.

As a result, I am a tired man, my fingernail chewing refuses to subside, and I have noticed several (only two) occurances of uncharacteristic behaviour in the past week.

1. Irregularity of washing body/clothing
As a main person of hygiene, I regularly wash once daily. However, today I did not shower. This trend has also included but not been limited to clothing. The times of the day/week that usually would see me do laundry have been thrown askew as a result of irregular hours. While stench has not been overbearing, this is not a trend that fills me with happiness/self approval.

2. Failure to engage person I highly respect/idolise in conversation
On Thursday afternoon after rising I ran some brief errands, before making a stop at The Spot to eat the equivalent of breakfast (they were shutting, making a mockery of their sign "all day breakfast". Hell of infuriating.) I turned down my street walking on the other side of the road to my house as to catch the last of the day's sunlight. I noticed a man getting out of a very terrible red sedan. "That man's hair is styled in a rock-a-billy fashion," I thought. "In certain sub-cultures of Melbourne, that would be considered extremely correct." The man was climbing out of the car just as I crossed it's path. I walked on for several metres before thinking, stopping, turning around and staring. Through his denim shirt, which was way too denim and unbuttoned for his age, I noticed his distinctive Spanish-artist inspired chest tattoo. After realising, I stopped and stared at the man, who briefly stared back at me quizzically before turning and walking across the road, through a gate and into the house of a person who knows Tim Rogers better than I.
This is a man who I have never managed to cross paths with, but was (am still) obsessed with. I spend half my life envious that nearly everyone I know has a more comprehensive relationship with him than me. I have a brother who has had a pint with him in Ireland, a girlfriend who has travelled in a car with him in Melbourne, and a mother who works with a lady who knows his mother. Yet I just stood there like the day-sleeper I have become.