*This column is now being renamed 'The Vagabond Papers' after this rad book I've been reading. The book is selections from a 19th century journal of this guy known as 'The Vagabond' who travelled around the world and wrote about all he saw. He was quite the humanitarian consider he was from respectability-obsessed Victorian-England, and he appeared to show a dislike for upper middle-class brats from Melbourne. I only know one of those, but I share his sentiments 150 years on and thus am keeping him alive in name at least.
*It has recently been brought to my attention that I haven't done much lately. This was pointed out to me yesterday by Brad, who upon arriving at my house to drop something off asked me what was up? I thought about it for a minute and then realised...Shit, nothing, at all - unless you want to hear about an essay I'm writing about on 'Respectability and Larrikinism' in 19th century Sydney... a gripping analysis of a dichotomy that divided the colony and I will argue, led to an notions of an imagined 'egalitarianism' that many people still think exists in this country today... Speaking of that essay, its due in 2 and a half hours and I am a good 800 words shy of finishing it, and I'm wasting all my best words here... Like amelioration and propensity!
*Additionally, my attention has been roused by more stories of this columns favourite celebrity, The Mysterious Goon Bag. The Silver Handbag has reportedly been swanning around with Brad at the races, receiving free drinks, and even meeting a bunch of Cops and getting taken home by one of them (allegedly a lady one) to their palatial Hornsby studio... Goonbag wasn't available for comment, however his mum did confirm that 'Dave's just having a sleep now but I'll get him to call you back later James'. Thank you Mrs Goulter.
*In other news, I am the flavour of the month with a selection of people's baby photos on my fridge indicating that they are having 21st Birthday parties and I am in fact invited. When discussing how to deal with multiple engagements on one night it was confirmed by a multiple sources that 'Unless you're good mates with the guy having it, you should go to the chicks one, cos there'll be more chicks there and, deducing to a greater chance of pashing someone'... For more great insights like this, stay tuned to this column, or this columns sources.
*A certain someone has let the cat out of the bag by claiming that another certain someone has assaulted their game badly by being recently seen to a certain someones former certain someone. Someone will pay for this, certainly.
*Is wearing matching aqua tights and a billowy shirt OK if you are a middle-aged Eastern Suburbs childless trophy wife? What if you aren't?
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4 comments:
I believe it would be wrong for said asian male NOT to wear said salmon tights.
'So where does the blame lie for your deficient education, lie, James?'
That doesn't even make sense fcwr. Could you draft your shit next time?
Scannerman and Answer-man. Not only have you tried to sell me shit but you have not contributed to the argument in the slightest... So fuck you.
cheers timbo, im glad there are jobs around like that.
the whistler chronicles are still going...if not slowly. hows wearing one pair of sunnies on your eyes and one on your head?
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