Saturday, October 22, 2005

Holy General Pants!

I took my younger brother Peach to Macquarie centre this arvo because he needed to buy some stuff so he could be cool at a party tonight - I wonder what Governer Macquarie would say if he saw his own shopping centre, he'd probably be pissed off because he couldn't get a park near Bayswiss.

Anyway, we went into General Pants because they are the preferred outfitter of cool teens. On entering the store, a hip young dude with an eyebrow ring approached us and said 'How ya going boys? What you up to?' I mumbled something about being 'Good thanks' hoping to end the conversation - not because I don't like hip dudes, I'm just not very comfortable in a retail situation. Alas, he then followed up on this with 'Dude, where'd you score that jumper from? Its rad!' I responded with 'Umm I got it from the Glebe markets ages ago...Its pretty old' (All of a sudden feeling very Fernando Frisoni 'Who's Looking Hot in Sydney' from the Sun-Herald). Fair enough, being nice to potential customers is a good way to sell stuff, but does he have to bring me to a General Pants level of wankerdom when I am clearly trying to appear distant and suttle (read blase and cool).

It didn't end there. The second, more-senior young hipster (he had a bigger set of keys, so perhaps a manager) approached with a similar opening line. He then followed up with a stare followed by 'man I have the exact same jeans, where did you get them from?' My timid and vulnerable response explained where I got said jeans from. Despite my prayers to the God of awkwardness and public-relations the conversation did not end hear. He then started to say, 'Really, I didn't think (said store) stocked (said pretentious clothing label) anymore'
'Umm I don't really know...' (read I want to go home).

He then started to regale me with an awesome story that his cousin managed a store in the Strand Arcade that was having a sale, and that I should go down. I don't really understand his logic, I'm apparently already a big enough spanner by virtue of owning these pants, why do I need more? The somewhat one-way conversation then went down the inevitable path of him telling me how many pairs of these jeans he owned, 16 I think it was? I hope he kept the tags on them, he could take them back and refund them for a deposit on a house or maybe a tank of petrol for his mums landcruiser (see, now I'm being slightly hypocritical, granted - even though my mum drives a hatch-back).

Only last night at work I was wearing the offending jeans, when a friend Kym pointed out that I was a complete hypocrite as I always am the first to call people wankers and place them in bored and generalised categories. So this story is dedicated to Kym, who has made me think that - maybe I've lost my edge? Have I sold out? In all fairness when you're as skinny as me, it is hard to find pants that aren't massive - thus jeans made to be painted on for your normal fashionista on Crown St fit me pretty well. So maybe I have sold out Kym...At least I'd blend in if I ever need to go undercover in Darlinghurst.


ng. said...

dude......if you had chosen to swing by my work (read: fully hectic general pants-esque for the 'i don't wear surf labels' fashion wankers.) you would have been greated by yours truly wearing WHITE/BABY BLUE short shorts + AQUA shoes + AQUA headband ASIAN combo; a combo that only mr david cotton would have rocked when umpiring wimbeldon back in in '87. AND i would've hit up peach to fix my BMX. AND we could have talked shit and HATED on EVERYTHING. can we go for a beer and spoon soon?

James Ross-Edwards said...

Fuck yes... Let's get together and talk about the pitfalls of being a member of Sydney's young, beautiful, alternative elite... See you at Bang Gang? Fuck I hate everything!

ng. said...

hahahaaaa bang gang done. after the exams 18th november. followed by a shot of home (i can't believe i want to go to home, but on the plus side, cargo and wallaby are nearby) on the 19th to see the same crowd again...but at home there will be more hectic, industrie wearing 'middle eastern' types.

I'M CALLING BITCHES OUT. that means all you cashed up north shore high school elite bitches hauling ass over the bridge.....actually fuck that. based on my attendance of class of 02 21st this year, i'm gonna say FUCK ALL Y'ALL, STOP WRITING RAPS AND GO PLAY VOLLEYBALL

ps fucken S magazine dropping 3 of my 4 favourite pubs. i better not be seeing steve macmahon types at any of them anytime soon. otherwise shits gonna hit the mother-suckin' fan

NG bringin' tha H.A.T.E