Andrew G has a blog too.

It was not until yesterday that I started reading Dave Eggers' seminal novel, Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius. It was not until yesterday that I(, in fact,) had been striving my entire life to writing exactly the same as Eggers, just never realised it. Much like when I first read Douglas Adams, it was somewhat of an epiphany. People probably know. People know.

In stark contrast, yesterday was also the first time I have ever been fired from a job. After pouring my heart and soul into scanning 'before' and 'after' photos of 'Slimmer Of The Year' semi-finalists at Weight Watchers HQ, I was informed (on my way to work no less) that they no would no longer require my (borrowed) sensible black shoes. According to Hays Recruitment's Katherine, I had apparently clipped some photos together with a paperclip, and now noone knows where they are supposed to go. I considered offering that once you'd seen one glamour shot of a newly-skinny women with a "skin-apron", you've probably seen them all. I didn't though, I'm pretty intimidated by Weight Watchers personell - (this is lifted directly from a text message I sent this afternoon, sorry to the recipient for being unoriginal/self-plagiarism) white-pants wearing blonde women, all "I'm going to be naughty and dip a strawberry in white-choccy!" ... All watching Rove and commenting on his bravery... All "Pete Helliar is just the best!"

---
LAST FRIDAY:
"If you drink a schooner of mushroom sauce, I'll play a game of rugby"
"Nah, it's not worth it."
"How about an over-the-pants handjob?"

SATURDAY:
Hungover Brad: "These beers just aren't waking me up... I'm going to have to bomb my way out of this mess."

TUESDAY:
W1 on 431 bus: "Can you believe that anyone would sack my baby? Honestly!"
W2: "I know! Although he might have had trouble getting along with the other people."
W1: "Especially the time he got locked in the freezer for the night... Which reminds me, I need to get a new freezer. I'm going to buy a new one as soon as my share money arrives from America, that's what I'll do."

... So many unanswered questions, so little employment.