Extract from the diary of a person seeking employment.

Q: "So it looks like you have done a variety of good and interesting things, but do you understand that the bread and butter of this job is administration?"

A: "From my experience doing admin stuff, I have really enjoyed it, and would love the opportunity to work within the arts at any level"
- Yes, but at this point I don't think I will find a job that involves sitting at Glebe Point drinking gin in teacups and writing verbal essays about Samatha Brett's latest column, so I thought I'd take what I could get y'know. Award wages for that are pretty crap also. I've got a lot of drinks to buy, and I really want to buy one of those Chopper BMXs like the one my friend bought his girlfriend last week. I saw a job on Seek.com.au for being Larry David, I hear that pays pretty well?

Q: "What are your salary expectations? We are a non-profit organisation, so we pay the award."

A: "Obviously I need to pay the rent and bills, but I realise that to working in the creative industries will mean wages are not as high."
- I've never been on a salary in my life, only hourly or weekly wages. It would be great if I could get as much as when I was on the dole, but working full-time cash in hand at a bar? That was so fucken sweet.

Q: "I see you live locally, how did you get here today?"

A: "I caught the bus"
- I walked because I couldn't afford $1.70 bus fare. I threw the last money in the tip jar at a cafe near my house... Gives you a bit of perspective really, I mean the importance of keeping up appearances. He's a nice guy though, he knows exactly how me and Stephen have our eggs and refers to us affectionately as "boys", not in a patronising way either, it would sound funny if he called us "men" though, wouldn't it? (...) Speaking of living, it's getting a little complicated. Our current housing situation may be getting shaky, as several of our household may be moving out, with another possibly leaving town for a few months. I'm sorry to bring this up in an interview, but I've spent a fair bit of time considering different options of what I, or we, will do about it. Do you know anything about breaking leases, and how getting back your bond in those circumstances works? The major issue will be furniture, if the other two move out all we'll be left with is a rear projection TV, a coffee table, a set of knives and an ashtray... I keep getting weird thoughts like 'how will I cope without somewhere to hang my coat?' And we don't even have a coat stand now! It's not really a problem, winter is short in Sydney, winter coats are mainly invented to make us feel like we are part of the EU...

That came out wrong. What I meant to say, is that winter coats, like high heels and fancy corkscrews, are mainly used because they have always been used, it's habitual. I know, I know, I'm happy to sit down and talk about the cultural cringe for hours. Did you know my grandmother's lawn bowls club still sing God Save The Queen?

Q: "Thanks so much for coming in, James. We have had quite a good response for this role, so I hope you understand if we take a few weeks to get back to you?"

A: "Of course, thanks for having me in"
- Of course, thanks for having me in.

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