Calista Flockhart: "I thought I was going to die"

Apart from a small cash-flow crisis, having too many unpaid jobs and two massive assignments due next week, it is a wonderful time to be alive.

Tickets to Splendour have been purchased, lust of tar has almost been coughed up, overall sense of confidence and well-being is reasonably high. If I were the character from "Doom 2," I suspect my health would read a respectable 92%, any minor complications would be represented by a slightly bloody nose on the face of the muscular hero. My weapon of choice would of course be the chainsaw, aiding me as I hack my way through the trials and tribulations of life. All my worries and problems would be represented by aliens and armed soviet troops, all my solutions and happiness being them chopped up on the ground - there ammo and extra lives picked up by me on the way. The various levels would be named things like "Researching and Reporting Feature Article", "Allnight radio show", "Carrying plates", "Calling Centrelink", "Thinking up new things to call Simmo". Stuff like that mainly.

Tip of the day: Do not go grocery shopping when you are hungry.
Saying of year: "Shelfing" (verb) eg: "Fuck, that bloke can shelf piss"
"I am stingin', when are we gonna start shelfing piss"
"A fair bit off piss was shelfed"
Quote of the last six weeks: "A complete lack of remorse for tin"
- W. Gilroy.
Handy Household hint of the week: Why not convert an old living area into a funky entertaining space!?
Tooheys New Cup Player of the Week: D. Goulter (Eastwood)
Award for best money invested in the last year: Norths Rugby Club for 1. Cabana Bars Thursday nights and 2. Wendel Sailor (They took the Dell burger off the menu because Wendel "isn't fucken hungry mate (sound of jaw grinding and lips licking)! ... Can I have a ciggie?"