Single-minded proposition.

I started working as an advertising creative a little while back. It changes the way you think about things, advertising. The general aim is to reduce messaging to a simple, single-minded idea or proposition.

EG1: “This ute is unbreakable. Even if an animated cow and a bull were having sex in it, it still wouldn’t break!”

EG2: “All low carb beers are for girls. Except this one.

Once you’ve done this successfully, you can pretty much say anything. You can even use a Joanna Newsom song! Often, I forget that the whole world isn’t as single-minded as I’m frequently required to see it.

Here is one of those instances:

So, I was walking to work - past the Mosque on Commonwealth Ave. It was during Ramadan, so there were heaps of Islamic families hovering around. It had a similar buzz to the morning teas that happens after a service at my Nan’s church - except no biscuits or cordial.

I felt smug: ‘Look at me. It’s a lovely day, my pants are rolled up, and I’m genuinely enjoying the cultural diversity that surrounds me!

I crossed the road, and continued into Hyde Park, where, in addition the usual stuff, I noticed a bearded man doing a wee on the base of the War Memorial. My pace slowed as the significance of what I was saw set in.

All of a sudden, I began internally using my Bachelor of Arts:

“Woah - that is VERY unacceptable. Both my grandfather’s fought in that thing. You DON’T piss on the War Memorial.”
“That’s true. But look at the dude - he probably doesn’t even know where he is. After all, he’s got his dick out in public.”
“Is it wrong to sneak a look at his face - to try deducing his a) level sobriety and b) ethnicity? I mean, it’s way harder to condemn people of different circumstances- Shit... I’ve gone and confused myself.”
“He’s almost definitely mentally ill and/or drunk. The situation’s way more sad than anything else. I’d leave it at that.”
“Agreed.”

Suddenly, a dude walking behind began saying stuff to the urinator: “Fucking disgusting... It’s some raghead c---... The c--- deserves to die.”

This shocked me, as even at a glance, the guy definitely did not appear to be of middle eastern origin. “Wow.” I thought. “What’s worse? Pissing on the War Memorial, or saying that sort of stuff to a person?”

I turned around to see a white male in a suit, saying that stuff into a bluetooth headset.
Relief washed over me. The universe had provided a catalyst.

Single-minded proposition: Don’t wear bluetooth headsets.