JEREMY: A LOVING REFLECTION

"Six months! You're kidding."
Sancia, was in fact not joking. It had been six months since their particularly pretentious friend Jeremy had passed away - sucked up into a vacuum created from his own verbal masturbation. That was actually a metaphor, his literal cause of death was strangulation. Jeremy was strangled by a hipster in low-slung tracksuit pants. His weapon, the plastic bag that appeared in American Beauty as "The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen." The result: Jeremy was killed by everything he disliked (perhaps a metaphor).

Sancia, or "Sance" for short, took a few minutes to think about Jeremy and what he would say and think if he could see the state of the world today.

"I reckon he'd think energy saving light-bulbs were for dickheads, hey." Matt offered. "And he'd probably say something really slack about Anna Nicole Smith, like that her baby was retarded or something. Jeremy was a bit of a cunt hey." Matt paused to give Sancia a sidelong glanced that suggested profundity, but just showed off his fake diamonte earring he hadn't taken out since he got it pierced on schoolies. After the pause he spoke again, "I definetly don't think that Jez would've agreed with selling QANTAS overseas."

Sance for short saw straight through Matt's tribute. "You're just trying to prove to me that you read the paper, aren't you?"
"Nah, I know for a fact Anna Nicole Smith died."
"That statement said absolutely nothing."
"Well, she did."
"You're an idiot. I hope you realise that. You are an idiot with an infected diamonte that's only purpose is to warn people via reflective light that you are the kind of person who puts a diamonte stud in their ear then leaves it in for five years after. And they were never fucken fashionable!"

This floored Matt, as he had always suspected that Sance for short had secretly liked the earring. It hurt him that she voiced a strong opinion that suggested otherwise. And he had read the paper that day.