Sunday, April 30, 2006

4:38am Monday the 1st of May, 2006

YIPPEE, HOORAY I AM FINALLY FREE!

As a wise man once said: "God bless the fucken lot us us!"

Friday, April 28, 2006

Drew Barrymore is going to be very upset...

This post is written in response to popular blogger and high-end-street-fashion purveyor Claudia Newstead. Newstead's latest post has called on the fair opinion of 'Sydney boys' to provide a character reference for one 'Patty' (not female) and 'Lessio' (By the way, it's not enough to just wear "drainpipe" cut jeans. If you want to be in the Strokes you have to at least smoke, even if you don't play an instrument. I'm pretty sure Fabrizio Moretti didn't bag Drew Barrymore just by delivering a pear, rocket and blue cheese pizza to a table of taste-curious brewery visitors.)

Perth is a strange place. 'Paddy' is spelt with two T's (Patty) and wanker is spelt with a capital "W" and an exclamation mark (Wanker!). Special mention also goes to the guy in the flat brimmed cap who is apparently in some gang called 'ANKLESNAP' but hasn't quite gathered the sand to get it tattooed on the inside of his lower lip. His name was Dane and what he couldn't express in words, he more than made up for by stumbling and curb-sleeping.

My long standing suspicion of people with new-age names has been taken up another peg to say the least. After all that happened I'm suprised someone named Corey didn't try to scissor-kick me on the strength that my friend's (Pidge) jeans were tight. After Pidge's galant efforts both talking to girls and parents of girls having parties I think it is necessary to change the 'Chuck Norris facts' to the 'Will Gilroy' facts. Example:

"Will Gilroy decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull! "
- Thats right, Pidge pisses red bull.

Brackets aside. We just visited Perth to see the usual suspects, aforementioned in this blog. Timing was on everybodies side as our visit coincided with the 21st birthday parties of Tim and Annika (and a big online happy birthday to you both[!]).

Hopefully I will get around to talking more about this trip as it was one of the best weeks I've ever had (1:00am-9:30am 20/4 - morning after Tim's party a possible exception for digestive reasons). From Pidge and his boots trying to pick up everything that moved to Brad's apparent alcoholism the week went off like red-cordial at Bible camp.

LIST OF HIGHLIGHTS:
- Arriving to see Tom Hill drinking a pint of Lager in the arrivals lounge of Perth domestic.
- Drinking what was apparently really nice red wine when we first arrived at Tims place, but not appreciating it or even being able to differentiate it from a cask of Stanley´s finest.
- The cutting edge and oh-so-quirky floor staff at Little Creatures Brewery.
- Tim showing me how to kick lights in the park so they turned offf.
- Foregoing tradition and trading in the late-night kebab for ´just the half kilo of brie for me tonight´ to soak up the booze at 2:30am.
- Finding a BP staff cardigan.
- The parallels between the Perth´s Western suburbs and The OC evident at Anna´s "white party"
- Riding the dirt-surfer down the hill.
- Debating over whether or not to put 'love,' on a birthday card addressed to someone we didn't know.
- Everything except leaving. What a , for want of a better term, fucken grouse week! Thank you, each and everyone of you, for putting us up (again!) and having us at our inebriated worst!